After a relationship ended, our emotions are all muddled up. All the negative emotions are weaved into this giant ball of fire that sets everything ablaze in its path. It takes a lot to untangle these thoughts during this period. We may be confused by our feelings, mixing anger with disappointment or sadness with emptiness.
I always joke with my friends how my first breakup trained me well for the next one. I was swiped by a whirlwind of emotions when the four-year relationship died. The death was acute, which made it even tougher to manage. On hind sight, the excruciating “pain” I went through seemed necessary for growth. It took me a few months to understand how I felt during the breakup and which aspect of the relationship I was most disappointed with.
I was trying to make sense out of my emotions after my second relationship ended recently: am I sad because I lost my partner or a chance to settle down? The difference between these two may be a fine line but getting it sorted will clear your mind in no time. I was weighing the difference and thought I may have been more concerned about building a life with someone and overlooked if the person suited me. When the person can’t fit into the mould I envisioned, things start to fall apart. With this in mind, I was pretty sure that this person has done no wrong to leave this relationship and harbouring any form of angst is just short changing yourself emotionally.
No one can ever master the art of breaking up, be it the initiating or receiving end. But the best you could do is to be clear about your emotions. I, unfortunately, find it hard to be the initiating party in every relationship. I believe there’re ways to work through it no matter how challenging it is. And it’s never too late to throw the towel after both of you have tried.
Sometimes writing down how you feel helps you to sort your thoughts. You may not be able to do so right after the breakup. Wait till the dust settles before walking into that rummaged room of emotions. I’m sure things will go back to its place and you will find that missing piece in the puzzle.